It's the penultimate day of 'zero fortnight' and I haven't heard from the Big One. I may have planned to meet friends, execute complex projects, and begin my career in other departments, but I'm still waiting to hear from the Big One - my dream job.
Fortunately I had my other projects to take my mind off it. Of my three projects I have now completed one and a half and can see myself crashing headlong back into limbo. Admittedly there are still another one and a half projects to do, but I've looked at them so much in the last few days that I'm starting to go cross-eyed.
There are no new jobs to apply for - I've checked. Well there are jobs - several in fact that I'm on the cusp of applying for, I'm just waiting until the last minute before I bite the bullet and apply for something that I consider to be second best.
Essentially, I've got itchy feet. There are things on the horizon, I just have to wait for them. I hate waiting. I hate waiting with a fervent passion. Hate. Hate. Hate.
In response to all the waiting I've been doing, I decided I was going take a more proactive approach to my job search and it paid off to a certain extent: the big rusty cogs are beginning to grind into life. I've been making real progress there, but for the next step, I still have to wait - a week. Now a week can be swallowed up adequately in the big picture, but stopping to think about what I'm doing in detail over the next seven days and all of a sudden I'm turning back to daytime TV and refreshing my email inbox.
I sound thoroughly tragic don't I. I have an online assessment to do for Monday, but I haven't even thought about it yet because my head's all over the place. On the one hand I'm planning what will happen if I get some success with my projects, on the other I'm still trying to face up to the fact that I'm going to have to start applying for jobs I don't want to do.
Now I sound pompous. Taking things that are second best; applying for jobs I don't want, what right have I to demand my dream job? Well I don't, but if you are unemployed you've most likely said 'I could do their job better than that' and, for want of a more eloquent phrase, it's the luck of the draw.
I get so frustrated especially when I see public figures in the media - in the industry I want to catapult myself into - and some of them make an awful mess of their jobs. Just last week I referred to the BBC's farcical article about unemployed bums like me. It's not just that - spelling and grammar mistakes are common - if you don't know how to use an apostrophe, go back to school and get out of the newspapers.
However much I hate waiting, though, it looks like I'll have to do some more before I can drag myself out of this mire...
No comments:
Post a Comment